A day with a Japanese family

Probably one of the best and most interesting days so far: we Germans were invited to our Japanese friend Eriko's house in order to get to know the family, cook dangojiru together, have dinner, go to an onsen (hot bath) and have a sleep over!
I was so excited because I really wanted to have an insight into Japanese family life.
We thought about a gift for the mother. I think that not bringing a gift for the host in Japan is a major social mistake. But we were not sure what to get her. We had some German chocolate (Ritter Sport), but this did not seem fancy enough. Also we had some Gummibärchen from Germany, but you can also buy them in Japan. And I think that fruits are rather given when somebody is sick. In the end we decided to buy a nice bouquet of flowers.
When we arrived we were warmly welcomed by Eriko's mother. Later I wondered why I saw the flowers lying on some table in the corridor, as if she had forgotten them. I was a little bit disappointed, that she did not seem to like the flowers and put the into a vase. But then I remembered that Japanese often ignore presents in order to not make the guest feel ashamed. It has to do with politeness. I hope that this was the case...
What was striking was the fact that the apartment of the faily consisted of two small apartments on the third floor in an apartment building. One apartment has two rooms: Eriko's and her little brother's room in the first apartment and the dining room with kitchen and the parents' room in the other apartment. So in the middle, where the corridor and the stairs are, you have to change from house slippers to shoes and to house slippers again, in order to move from Eriko's room to the dining room. The apartments are really small, the ceiling is lower than in Germany, everything seems a little bit narrow - but also very cozy. What was also immediately striking was that it was extremely cold in the apartments, as if it had been vacant for a week. Eriko did not seem to notice the extreme coldness, so I guess she is used to it.
But a very convenient device, which could only be invented by a nation with cold houses, is a table, which is a heated blanket at the same time. A heating device is installed under the table and the blanket keeps the warmth. It love it! We Germans immediately put our legs under it.

2 in 1: a table with a blanket

One of the best Japanese inventions - a heated table!

What I also noticed was that Eriko's little brother came to say hello and sat down with us, although we did not talk to each other much. For me it seems as if he was obligated to spend time with his big sister's guests. In Germany I think it is rather the case that the big siblings want to talk to their friends alone and would feel disturbed if the little siblings stayed in the room. Also Eriko's big sister and her child sat down with us. So it felt like the whole family welcomed us, rather than only Eriko just having some friends over for dinner. (Oh my God, everything is so hard to explain!)
Eriko's room is very big in contrast to her little brother's room. This is like my own home. The big sister gets the bigger room. It has something to do with hierarchical thinking in Asian families. Her room looked like a German room, only that she had a huge bookshelf with many many mangas!

Erikosan's manga shelf - takusan ne?

When we went into the kitchen in order to cook dangojiru we found out that already everything except the noodles was prepared. Eriko's mother had cooked and prepared so much and had left out the noodle part so that we had a Japanese cooking experience. It was they had done much thinking and had set up an event for us. When we made the noodles Eriko's brother and sister took our camera's and took pictures of us.

Eriko's mother shows us how to form the noodles. 

She was working in the kitchen all the time. She had prepared so much food for us.

 

We make dango ^^ The noodles are cooked in hot water until they float. And during the whole procedure our every move was documented on our camera's.

I do not know how to express it in words properly. But how would you feel when you are invited to a friend's house and your hosts voluntarily pick up your camera in order to document everything you do and experience? It feels a little bit like a visit in a theme park. But you also have to consider the Japanese relation to photos. They love pictures and posing for pictures. It seems as if for them taking photos is much more natural and everybody accepts and even expects it that pictures are taken in any situation. Also I think that being a foreigner in Japan (especially when you look like one, i.e. European or American)  is special. People look at you more. So maybe also for Eriko's family it was something special that Germans came over for a visit.

I noticed that the whole family in a way served us. Eriko's mother constantly brought food or drinks into her room, and even the little brother poured tea for us! Being a guest in Japan is like feeling like a king, because the whole family is involved. In Germany of course the guest is served too, but the mother never spoke with us, but was busy in the kitchen all the time and the brother served us tea as if he had taken off his evening to do nothing else. We felt really special.

Eriko's father came back late from work. He said hello, but did not sit down with us.

Eriko, her mother, and her brother care for us guests really well

 How does a Japanese dinner look like? Rather than having 3 courses (entrée, main dish, dessert) all the food is layed on the table at once. Next to the dishes in the middle of the table, which everyone shares, one also gets seperate dishes. A typical Japanese meal consists of several small dishes rather than only one main dish. So Erikosan's mother had prepared many different dishes for us! She must have done a lot of thinking and preparing, because we were so many guests. We had Dangojiru, chicken tempura, kabocha (squash), renkon (lotus root), and of course rice.

We love the magic heating table

 

 

Group picture with Eriko's mother

 

Eriko and her mother help me to try on Eriko's yukata. It is like a kimono, only that the kimono is made of expensive material and is tied differently. But the cut is basically the same. Japanese girls usually do not own kimonos as they are extremely expensive. They are only rented for special occasions.

As the apartment is small, we ate with Eriko, while the rest of the family (ate seperately in the other apartment. Later, when we had finished dinner, Eriko's mother, brother, and sister finally sat down with us and talked to us. Eriko's father also sat down later, but only for a short time. The whole family is very friendly and very attentive. We felt welcomed and taken care of.

As Japanese homes are often small I wondered how they would accommodate us three girls for a sleepover. When we came back from the onsen, the tables in Eriko's room were removed and the floor was laid out with futon and many blankets. So that's where guests can sleep! Eriko's family had taken care of everything while we had been gone. It looked so cozy and I slept so well on the futon! It was comfortable and warm, every one had much space, and I wish my bed in the Kaikan was as comfortable as the sleeping place Eriko's house. Erikosan actually offered us her bed like a good host would do, but we declined.

The whole floor covered with  futon and blankets - so cozy!

The next morning a Japanese breakfast awaited us! I was so excited! My first Japanese breakfast ^^ Eriko's mother came in with more and more food. We were served some of the dishes from the dinner the night before. Eriko said, that it is normal that leftover dishes are served the next morning. This is very convenient, because Japanese meals all consist of many different small dishes. And preparing so many different dishes must take a very long time. And of course, again, warm rice also in the morning! We had renkon, salad, pickles, spaghetti, shitake tempura, and kabocha. What a delicous breakfast. And so much work involved. If I were a Japanese mother I would probably cook all day long.

Our breakfast

All in all, Eriko's family was so great. We were welcomed warmly, the family was so attentive and friendly, all the family members took care of us. And it must have been a very busy and exhausting day for Eriko's  mother as she did all the cooking. And as I know from my own mother, Eriko's mother's head must have been turning around this day for quite some time in order to prepare everything. I am very grateful for this day. I loved it from the beginning to the end! ^^